Discomfort is something that we have all experienced in life. Discomfort in our bodies, relationships, jobs, finances, and lately, the state of the nation and world. A discomfort that clutters our minds, our emotions, and spirits. So how do you find comfort in the discomfort? Let's explore together.
In 2014, my family and I set out to go see my parents in Portugal. We had this great adventure mapped out. We were to go to Paris first and then head south to spend two weeks with them. My dad had experienced a couple of heart attacks that year, and I felt it was very important to make this trip happen.
We arrived in Boston on time, at 8:30 PM boarded the double-decker Air France flight. Nearly two hours later, we were still on the tarmac due to mechanical issues. The fight was canceled.
We were sitting close to the front of the plane, and I had the forethought to instruct the guys to retrieve our luggage while I stood in line, hoping to rebook this flight. It was now close to 11:30 at night, and there were nearly 450 passengers anxiously waiting to do the same, with unfortunately only three airline attendants to serve the mass. It was absolute chaos, to say the least!
I was feeling fortunate and hopeful to be nearly first in line when suddenly an attendant caught my eye and yelled, "Are you willing to come back in the morning when there will be a better chance at getting you on a flight"? As he handed me a hotel voucher, I, of course, accepted that offer.
The guys weren't so lucky retrieving our luggage as the airport employees all went home at midnight!
Luckily our summons for help resulted in finally getting our belongings, and after exhaling a sigh of relief, we stood outside the terminal while we waited for the hotel transportation (now at 1:30 in the morning), except there was no van! The hotel informed us that transportation ended at 1 AM and that the hotel was fully occupied, and people were sleeping in the library!
Exhausted and feeling defeated, by 3 AM, we decided to head back home. My heart was broken. I couldn't help imagining never getting to see my dad again if something happened!
Of course, first thing in the morning, I was on task. For the next 24 hrs, I repeatedly contacted the airline, desperately trying to rebook the trip, without success.
A day or so later, I found myself back in my office buying time as I hoped something would open. As I sat looking out my window, I saw and heard the squeak of a hawk, peering in at me as if he had an important message to deliver.
Later, while walking the hallways at work, I came across one of my colleagues, a talented, intuitive healer, who asked why I wasn't on my trip. As I told the horrid details, she asked if I wanted a card reading – of course, I said yes.
Brilliantly the first thing she asked was, "when feeling uncomfortable, how do you find comfort"? I responded, "the sun, something is nurturing and healing for me when feeling the sun on my body. Also, bread, cheese, and olives!" Like a loving, compassionate hug, just saying the words out loud brought me a sense of warmth and comfort.
So, she instructed me to get a piece of bread, slather it with butter or cheese, sit in the sauna, and wait for guidance.
She was right because I heard a voice, very clearly, that said, maybe you are not supposed to go on this trip! Certainly not something I wanted or was ready to hear!
The next day a dear friend offered to go for a walk with me. While I stood outside my front door waiting for her, I heard the familiar squeak, and as I looked up, there was that hawk again. Forty-five minutes into our walk, this hawk suddenly came swooping down, nearly fifteen feet over our heads, clearly trying to get my undivided attention.
When I arrived back home, I immediately looked up the meaning of hawks in my favorite spirit animal book, and here is what it said. "You are caught up in too many details, so step back so that you can get a greater perspective on the situation. Stop trying to change others or the situation, and work instead on accepting things as they are."
The message was loud and clear, yet my ego was not ready to let this go.
So, for two weeks, I relentlessly tried to rebook this trip; each time I got close, there was another obstacle. No matter how much I prayed, screamed, and wept on the phone with the airlines, pleading that I needed to see my nearly dying father, nothing.
Finally, on Saturday night, two weeks later, committing that this was my last attempt, a kind Air France attendant found a solution, and as she hit the book button, I heard her defeated voice say, "Oh no, Izzy, it's not working. I have never said this to a customer before, but maybe you are not supposed to go!"
I had no choice but to surrender. Forcing me to find comfort in the discomfort.
Here is what I learned. In mindfulness, there are many teachings around the concept of 'how to ride the waves.' In essence, how to be with the discomfort as an observer and not contribute to the suffering. The acronym and practice I learned was B.R.F.W.A.
B –BREATHE or pause. Oh boy, did this situation force me to breathe, pause, Breathe
R- RELAX into the experience. There was nothing I could do to control the situation as much as I wanted to.
F- FEEL the feelings. You know the gut-wrenching, ugly messy cry. Yup, I had plenty. I had to feel the feelings – all of them.
W – WATCH - That was the hawk. Rise 30k feet above; you may have laser focus on something, but bear witness to all the moving parts.
A - ALLOW or let go. Let go – Let GOD.
So yes, I surrendered. And because we all had time off and a deep need to get away, plan B was activated.
We tried to go on a cruise to Bermuda, but just as I was ready to hit "book," I found out that there was a hurricane ready to pummel the island on that very weekend.
We tried to go to the beach but couldn't find an available room. So, we got as close to Europe as possible without flying or boating and ended up in Montreal.
It was an easy and seamless plan. However, it was there, within a couple of days, that it became clear to me as to why visiting my parents couldn't happen.
One of my family members had a serious medical issue that undoubtedly would have ended with a hospital stay had we gone.
Life is like this. There are days when we have certainty and other days when it is nowhere to be found—forcing us to often examine ourselves and our lives.
Mastering the skill of pivoting when needed as we search for the courage and skills to walk through the fire with the least number of scars, desperate for inner freedom.
If you too, are experiencing adversity in your life or perhaps are in search of healing some scars, then I would like to invite you to explore my new programs on my website, such as Inner Freedom.
These new offerings are strategically designed to target a specific focus and goal using proven tools and skills I have successfully used throughout my career to help clients achieve amazing possibilities.
I would be honored to help you. You can check them out here or request a free exploratory consult to find the perfect journey for you.
If not now, WHEN?