What is there not to WORRY about lately? Let's face it; the world has given us plenty to worry about, and I'm not sure how you feel, but recently, worry has certainly been my most dominant, uncomfortable emotion. I am struggling to stay hopeful, especially when some things feel much bigger and more complex than I feel I can control or influence.
Nonetheless, I know marinating in worry all day and night is not helping the situation. I bet if there were such a thing as a universal anxiety meter, there would be a warning that we are tipping well beyond the DANGER ZONE!
Now, this post could very easily focus on the physical, emotional, and psychological impact of worry, but I will save that for another day. Instead, today, I would like to offer you a tool to help you confront your worries.
I will begin by saying this, "what we resist...persists."
In other words, what we deny, run from, and push away, does not magically disappear.
I liken it to a beach ball—the more you try to push a beachball underwater, the more it wants to come up. Similarly, the more you resist your worries, the more they will find and impact all the corners of your life.
Unacknowledged worry can impact your quality of sleep, your capacity to engage with others in a healthy way, your ability to practice self-care. And, if left unaddressed, worry can impact your focus, creativity, and spirit.
So, how do you manage your worry? I have found that no amount of cake, wine, and new shoes have helped for more than a few minutes.
Numbing the discomfort only compounds the worries.
Instead, I have found that being intimate with my worries has helped the most. And here is how to practice.
First, you must become aware. By naming your worry, you give permission to acknowledge and befriend it.
Follow these steps as I walk you through the process:
Take a piece of paper and write down your 5 most dominant worries today.
Example: I am worried about my 89-year-old mother, who lives alone in Portugal.After writing these worries down, reread each and notice what it feels like in your body.
Where do you notice tension, uncomfortableness, or anything else?Next to each worry, identify and write down your greatest fear in that worry.
Example: There are many aspects of this complicated situation with my mother that worry me, but the greatest fear today is if she gets sick and needs me in an emergency, will I be able to travel there and be with her? Will she die all alone?Read each one slowly, repeating it aloud to yourself or someone you trust. Notice the feelings and emotions that arise from the worry and from defining the actual fears connected to it.
The invitation is not to push the discomfort away but be with all of it. Honor the quality, frequency, and vibration in your body, heart, and mind.Take a deep breath in and a slow breath out. Allow the fullness of each breath to embrace each worry as if they were acquaintances as opposed to enemies.
Imagine wrapping your arms around each worry to hug it— welcoming each one into your awareness and thanking them for whatever they are here to share with you on this day.Next, for each fear, ask yourself how true or real that fear is.
Sometimes we make up stories in our minds that are not true. Are you 100% sure that this fear could happen? Notice the answer.Next, move forward to create an action step.
If you could do something to ease the fear today, what action would you take?
Do it (you do something about it)
Hire it (ask for help)
Let it Go (surrender, give it up)
Example: At this time, I have done everything I possibly can to protect her from so far away. I call her every day, the police dept and neighbor check in on her regularly, and she wears a lifeline bracelet—There is nothing more than I can do. Today I chose to surrender, give it up to God – thy will be done.
8. Notice if the grip of the worry/fear has been released?
When we release the grip of worry and fear, we invite healthy endorphins to activate receptors in the brain, helping to minimize discomfort and encourage general well-being.
This truly is a practice of self-care and compassion.
At this moment in time, the world needs each of us to channel the vibration of worry into action. We can start by becoming messengers of hope and compassion for ourselves and each other, especially those whose safety and lives are at risk.
May we all be safe
May we all find support
May we all learn to ride the waves of our lives
May we find peace no matter what